


All About Adam

by thewightknight



Series: Ridiculous Crossovers Nobody Asked For [15]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 08:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19353646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/pseuds/thewightknight
Summary: Stop me if you've heard this one:An antichrist walks into a bar ....





	All About Adam

     Chloe thought she should have thought there was something extraordinary about the young man who wandered seemingly at random through Lux's door, except the thought wouldn’t come. He looked rather normal when you took him in all at once. His hair was that peculiar shade that some folks called light brown and others dark blond. He was tall and gangly and walked like he had no grace or coordination but he still seemed to flow across the room. His eyes were a warm brown, and his lips looked like they were one good pout away from getting anything he wanted.

     Her brain insisted she needed to think he looked ordinary. Absolutely, completely ordinary. So why did that little voice, the one that said ‘he’s guilty’ or ‘Maze stole your chocolate’, keep yelling at her, that she shouldn’t be thinking he was ordinary?

     She’d lost track of what Lucifer was saying. It didn’t matter, as he’d talk whether he thought you were listening or not. His words flowed over her as she watched the young man approach. He wasn’t so self-absorbed that he finally clued in to her lack of attention.*

     “Excuse me? Am I talking to myself now?” Lucifer asked, that tone in his voice that conveyed his dismay and/or disgust** that he wasn’t the entirety of your world at that particular moment.***

     “Sorry. Something caught my attention,” Chloe said, still distracted.

     “What could be more fascinating than my charming presence?” Lucifer followed her gaze and suddenly went still. “Oh,” he said, as the man approached.

     “Hello, father,” he said by way of greeting, syllables as crisp and precise as Lucifer’s own.

     “Father?” Chloe asked, incredulous.

     “Hello, son.”

     She could tell Lucifer would prefer if she left and let him handle this uncomfortable situation by himself. There was no way she would miss this, though.**** Lucifer seemed to have forgotten she was standing there so she cleared her throat. Two sets of eyes turned to her and she held out her hand. “Hi, as usual Lucifer is failing in social graces. I’m Chloe.”

     “Nice to meet you, Chloe. I’m Adam.” He took her hand and gave it a brisk pump. After he let go, he looked her over, and in one sweep of his eyes it felt like he’d learned everything about her that she didn’t want people to know about.***** And then she got the feeling that he approved of those kinds of thing and she got even more confused.

     “You never told me you had a son,” Chloe said to Lucifer, who wouldn’t meet her eyes.

     “Well, yes, I mean, no. Didn’t think it would come up. Ever. What are you doing here?” he asked Adam, sounding a bit desperate and afraid.*****

     “So, you’ve changed things up a bit, haven’t you?” Adam said instead of answering. “Looks like you’re back to rebelling again?”

     “Well, yes. You reminded me of old times.”

     Adam and Lucifer now seemed to have forgotten Chloe was there. She trailed along behind them as Lucifer started pacing and Adam followed him around the bar.

     “I guess I did, didn’t I? So, how’s it working out for you?” Adam's fingers trailed along the cover of the piano keys. Chloe jumped when music began to play, but neither of the men seemed to notice. *******

     “Oh, you know. Ups and downs," Lucifer said. "Enough ups to balance out the downs.”

     “Well, that’s good, then.” The two of them stared at each other, as if waiting for the other to speak again.

     Lucifer broke first. “Yes, it is. Fancy a drink?”

     “Guess I’m old enough for it now, in this country.” Adam sat on one of the bar stools, twirling around with a huge grin on his face. Chloe didn’t know the stools did that. Hopping up onto one herself, she gave it a go, frowning when it didn’t budge.

     “Really?” Lucifer grabbed a bottle from the top shelf.

     “Yeah. Today’s my birthday, after all.”

     Lucifer frowned. “It is, isn’t it?”

     “Twenty-one now.”

     He was legal, then. Chloe had been a bit worried about that, with him looking as young as he did and him being in a bar and all.

     “Has it been ten years already?” Lucifer shoved the glass across the bar, then poured himself another.

     “It has.”

     “Well, cheers, then!” Lucifer raised his tumbler and Adam followed suit. The clink of their glasses seemed louder than it should have been.********

     “You know, now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I have to say I’m glad you stopped Armageddon,” Lucifer said after his first swallow.

     “Thought you might be.” Adam made a face at his tumbler and frowned. The liquid in it suddenly turned colors and developed bubbles.

     “Hey! That was fifty-year-old scotch!” Lucifer protested.

     “Wait. Armageddon? What?” Chloe asked, and they both turned to her, registering her continued presence at once.

     “I think you had something else to do today, didn’t you?” Adam asked, and the next instant she was standing in her living room.

     “Mom! You got off early! I thought you said you couldn’t come!” Trixie had her new swimsuit on, and huge sunglasses and bejeweled flip flops.

     There had been something she was doing, wasn’t there?

     “If you’re coming to the beach, you might want to change,” Maze drawled. She wore the tiniest of black bikinis and had somehow managed to find a swimsuit wrap that looked like leather.*********

     “Right. Swimsuit. Give me a minute.”

     It wasn’t until they were on their way home that a random thought occurred to Chloe. “Maze, have you ever met anyone named Adam?”

     “Nope. That wasn’t my kind of assignment.”

     “What?” She’d have asked further questions but Maze had a look on her face that didn’t invite further questions.**********

     “Remember, you promised me ice cream!” Trixie interrupted.

     “I’m in!” Maze took Trixie’s hand. “Chocolate chocolate chunk?”

     “Two scoops!” Trixie replied. “In a waffle cone.”

     “You are a bad influence,” Chloe said.

     Maze winked. “Always.”

     Chloe still had the nagging feeling that she’d forgotten something. Something important. But she was pleasantly hot and tired and she didn’t remember promising her child ice cream but apparently she had. _***********_ “How about a dipped waffle cone?” she asked, and Trixie squealed in delight. Whatever it was, she decided it could wait. She got a triple scoop. _***********_ *

 

 

 

 

 

_*It took several minutes. It was one of those kinds of days._

_**Depending on the mood at that minute_

_***And every other moment, to be fair_

_****There were a few things that could have drawn her away from this situation. Most of them would involve a phone call from Trixie that started with “Maze said ….”_

_*****Like the time she’d stuck a bug down the barrel of her dad’s service revolver, or the time she’d switched out one of the hard-boiled eggs for a raw one to see what would happen_

_******Or was it ashamed? Hard to tell with Lucifer._

_*******It was Bohemian Rhapsody. Crowley’s musical tastes had rubbed off_

_********There was a brief rain of frogs over the Hollywood sign. The only people that noticed were three teenagers from Grand Forks, and they couldn’t tell anyone about it because they had been illegally climbing the hill._

_*********It was real leather. Maze had her standards._

_**********Maze used that look a lot with annoying frequency. Someday they were going to have a talk about THAT LOOK._

_***********Adam liked ice cream._

_************ Adam really liked ice cream.  
_

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you want to say hi, [check out my profile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewightknight/profile) for where I’m currently hanging out on this here internet thing.


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